well, I told T that my feelings about the new "no hugs" rule go much deeper than I had thought. I even told her about waking up with the memory of that pathetic scene from the movie "Dumbo" in which he's separated from his mother by iron bars and they try to work some kind of comfort in spite of it.

Bottom line: this new rule was imposed on T and she is not going to bend it or even ask about grandfathering in anyone no matter how long the relationship
and so, I will just stuff how I feel about it, since it won't change that is all I can do about it.

I must say that T was just delighted with the transference of the Dumbo thing, and wanted to talk about that for a long time. The more we went into it, the more shame I felt, and the happier she seemed to be about how humiliated I obvioously felt in having recognized it for what it was, and then telling her about it anyway. "this is a good thing." she said.
Is this courage? It was dreadful. And to my shame was added frustration at seeing her so amused, so breezy happy about it, not at all aknowledging how awful I was feeling.
And all I can do about THAT would be to bring it up again next time - if I want to go through feeling ashamed and humiliated all over again. I hate therapy.