((((((((((((((ZOO)))))))))))))))

I have been thinking about you and wondering how you're doing

Things sound so horribly overwhelming and hard right now. I am so sorry. I was just thinking today about earlier in therapy, when therapy was the only time there was any QUIET in my life, because my three boys are always here - and at the time, they were just so young and fighty and loud. I SO needed those two hours a week. I know how overwhelming just the lack of space and quiet and calm can be. For me, it's almost like being sleep deprived...it makes it harder to cope with any other stressors that come up. And then on top of the noise and the people and the teenagers (!), there are the money issues, the car trouble, everything else...I think ANYONE would want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over their head.

I wish I knew just what to say to make it better. I ended up going to a family counselor and talking to her and she did give me some suggestions that helped. I know you said at one point you were working on getting counseling for the kids...I wonder if that will turn things around at all??

And anniversary months are the worst. It took me a long time to learn to navigate October, and it's still a struggle. I'm sorry this is all coming up NOW.

For me, when I'm in that awful, overwhelmed place, I have to find a way to believe that grace will find it's way to me...that there will be one microscopic shift that will lead to another tiny change and another one and that the path will get clearer and bigger and easier to find. Little shifts start to add up, even though they seem so small and insignificant.

Be gentle with you. You feel overwhelmed because you are in an overwhelming situation. It won't be like this forever. Breathe, let T help you, and accept any other help you can get. You can get through this.