I should also say that her biggest complaint and reason for her feeling upset and distant is that she hasn't felt understood by me in many ways. She said she has felt like I haven't be listening or understanding her all the way. I know I have had issues with being able to clear my head and consider what people are telling me, and stay focused and everything (I was diagnosed with ADD, but there are other issues), so I have felt pretty guilty about all that in this relationship. But I don't have a feeling of what is really healthy and normal in this regard? I mean, we were together for like a year and a month, and things were really good an happy, and I feel like our sexual contact started this whole breakdown: she felt like I wasn't doing things she liked even though she told me about them several times. I really *want* (and wanted then) to understand her, and do what she likes. Initially, with sex, I feel like I actually didn't understand what she wanted out of sex, which is an affirmation and celebration of how close we are and how much we care about each other. I feel like I acted more out of my anxieties about sex -- that it would be really bad to lose the mood or take too long or fail, etc. And so I'd always be afraid to have sexual contact, because I was already anxious about it, and I felt like it was really hard for me to do what she liked.

So I dunno.. I dunno if there's something in her that wants things to break down, or what. I don't know if there are things she subconsciously expects, or what. I just dunno. I want to understand it all. I care about her and I want to explore this, even if we're broken up.