Parsifal... I am so sorry. That had to have hurt dreadfully.

I read both posts very carefully. I agree that she was unfair to not be direct with you, and I thought it was great that you stood up for yourself and said she should have been more explicit and appropriate after she thought she had broken up with you.

However... and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, I do NOT think you should try to get to the bottom of her motives and feelings. It's up to her to communicate that to you, and you've obviously proven to her that you care and are willing to work through it. If she's not also actively trying, then she's going to see attempts to "understand" her now as being intrusive and disrespectful. I'd also be careful of the "friends" thing, but that might be just me. It's a great idea in theory, but much more difficult in practice.

It would be great if you could take this time apart and just work on yourself. The good news is that this experience is going to make you a stellar partner in your next relationship, IF you deal with the breakup in a healthy way. But if you get caught up in overanalyzing her, it's going to stop you from healing yourself. Do you have a T?