I dont know if I should be here, or on the eating disorder forum. I am such a mess.
My anxiety is out of control -I just recently went back on prozac and xanax a week ago... the xanax helps but the withdrawl is anxiety provoking for me... the potential addiction gives me anxiety... Things are so very bad, that I have not eaten for months. I have a 5 month old baby girl, a 14 year old son and a husband who loves me one day and wants a divorce the next... a brand new home which I dont know if I can afford on my own without him, a high stress job, and I have lost 50 lbs since I had the baby... I only gained 15 when I was pregnant...the thought of putting food in my mouth makes me sick. I drink coffee and water. I go to T weekly. I am reading everything I can get my hands on... but my normal weight is about 140 and I am down to 110 -Im 5-7 -wearing a size zero and fading away quickly. I cannot get a grip. I am weak. I am tired. I feel like I am fading away. The only thing that I feel, is panic. Everything else is numb. I think I am bordering on an eating disorder - but I think it stems from my anxiety/panic...
I feel like I am a mess. I hate who I see in the mirror - I look like a skeleton - I hate who I have become emotionally... I hate that I cannot control this anxiety... it is seemingly ruling my life. I am ineffective at work -I am borderline as a parent right now... I dont know how to fix/end my marraige.
The sky is falling all around me. I need to get a grip. I need some friends/support who can relate...and help me get to a better place.
This is so isolating. I am embarrased, ashamed, and alone. Although I know it is just a feeling... I feel as though I am going to die.