so, tonight I got an eviction notice. Then my phone got shut off. I don't even KNOW. I had a little while there when I was done. DONE DONE DONE. But I thought of leaving my kids with just their dad. I can't do that to them.

I also came very, very close to SI. I called my T but she didn't call me back and I had a feeling she wouldn't until morning (this was shortly before 9pm, and when I called her at that time last night she didn't answer but called this morning and said she was asleep at 9.) So then I really spiraled out, because I needed to talk to her about SI. I thought about sending her a 911 text, but then I was too tired to move and I fell asleep for an hour or so. When I woke up, I didn't feel like SI any more.

Anyway. That was my night. Thank you all for your messages and for being here. I need to surround myself with people right now, I can't get through this on my own.