Yes. My daughter is in therapy and what ECHOES described is pretty much how it has worked for us too. She is 17 now and has been seeing her therapist for about 4 years. The frequency of their sessions waxes and wanes. There are times she will not go for a couple of months, and then other times she will suddenly go weekly 6 times in a row. I think she is old enough now (and experienced enough with therapy) to have a good sense of how often she needs to go. At first, we had to help determine the frequency (i.e. push her to go, even when she didn't want to), but not anymore. I am really glad my daughter has this other adult in her life who is caring and a source of support. I am sure my daughter talks about me sometimes to her therapist. But I don't ask about that and my daughter doesn't have to tell me. (Although you wrote that confidentiality is bull, my daughter's therapist takes it very seriously and has made it very clear to my daughter that what is said between them stays in her office, unless there is the potential for harm.) I like to think her therapist is sophisticated enough to realize my daughter is presenting things through her own lens. And if my daughter's therapist thinks I am not the perfect mother, does it really matter? (Plus, it's true, I am not the perfect mother!)

Have your son and his therapist discussed having less frequent sessions? I think that is an important conversation for them to have. Do you know why his therapist does not want him to have less frequent sessions? Do you know why your son wants to stop sessions? Is it the same reason you have--that he feels the therapist's values are being pushed on him? There was a time my daughter wanted to decrease sessions and her therapist did not. I had a discussion with her T on this and it was really helpful to hear her perspective and reasoning--very different than my daughter's and not without merit.

I think that your son's filling out an attachment questionnaire is not a criticism of your parenting.

Have you and the T discussed your unhappiness with the values teaching in your son's therapy? I agree that is a fine line and maybe impossible to keep separate. Clients, no matter their age, may respect and somewhat idolize the therapist. Because of this, minor clients may want to adopt the T's values, even if they run counter to the parent's. There is similar risk in schools with teachers or coaches of sports teams, or later in college with professors, etc. There is this stream of people who have the opportunity to influence our kids. By teenagerdom, we have to hope that some of what our kids learned from us will "stick" and that they have a good foundation for making decisions and choices.

I think it is important to pay attention to all these things as well as to seek clarification when possible.

Good luck at your appointment. I think it will be really helpful to have your husband along.