((((((((((((((((zoo)))))))))))))))))))

Look at you....in the midst of all of this hardness, you are doing some amazing things. You are thinking about the consequences of your behavior (leaving kids alone with H). You are reaching out for help, to T and to PC. To me, those are two big, positive things that show how far you have come, and that's incredible...to be in the middle of what must feel like one of the most overwhelming times in your life and to be able to use healthier coping skills. No matter how dark it feels you are finding a way to keep reaching for the light. That is grace.

It seems like your T might have a list of resources - or access to one - for people who are going through just what you are going through. Reach out to her today, and ask. You don't have to figure this out on your own.

Hang in there, zoo. You can do this.