Quote:
Originally Posted by Suratji
She should have said, "Listen, I can see that you're starting to get attached and this attachment will lead to pain. I want to teach you to be strong and so therefore I will warn you that going down this road of trust will make you weak and needy and I want to point out what you're doing now will only hurt you in the end."
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It DOES feel like that, doesn't it? I know that I used to wonder what the point of all of that attachment was...it really did seem like a giant set up for a huge pile of pain.
I am finding out that yes, there IS pain. But the pain is there BECAUSE of the trust and the love, and it is bittersweet. If I had never been in therapy, I don't know if I ever would have really believed, on a feeling level, that I am okay. Or that I am acceptable, or worthy of love, or loved. I really wouldn't trade the pain for those gifts, because the pain and the gifts came wrapped up in the same package, and I couldn't have one without the other. If i didn't open up to T, and let myself become attached, I never would have experienced all of the positive things that resulted from that.
There are SO many times when were "in it" that it feels like nothing but PAIN. The only thing I know to do is to keep showing up, week after week, and trust the process.
You are doing good work, suratji
