This morning, it occurred to me that what's scarier about taking a break and going back is the possibility that I will think "whew, there I did it, I'm not so attached to T" and I won't let myself go back because of that, even if I need to, or want to.

I feel like I need to stay conscious about not allowing "taking a break" to become "running away", because that wasn't the intention when I started, at all.

I think I might send a "are you there?" e-mail to T once a week just to remind myself that we are still connected, and that T is still there when I am ready to go back. That's a common e-mail exchange for us.."are you there?" "yes, I'm here".

I feel like a PC Guinea Pig. Like...hey, people, I'll take a break and report on how it feels, so we all know what's coming eventually

Therapy!