(((((((((((((suratji))))))))))))))

I think that there are "good" and "bad" times to take breaks during therapy.

I wanted to take breaks SO. MANY. TIMES. during my therapy, but it was always in the middle of something hard. I felt exposed, I felt scared, I felt ashamed, I felt like "what is the POINT of all of this pain?" and I just wanted to run away from it. Those would have been bad times to take breaks. I would have opened up all of these doors, looked at all of this pain from the past, and not given myself a chance to experience a different outcome. I would have been left with my own thoughts and feelings about the things I had shared, and I wouldn't have given myself the chance to learn that despite of those things, I can still be good and accepted.

This time, I am in a different place. We are not in the middle of the "telling". I'm not trying to escape from my Self, or T, or my feelings. I've had a chance to internalize the lessons T has taught me, and now I can try them out on my own for a while.

It's worth it to stick it out through the really hard stuff, suratji. I know it doesn't FEEL worth it, but it is. Give yourself a chance to learn that you really are okay.