I wasn't expecting to get a reply from my t, since she is out of the office this week, but she did respond to my latest email.

She said:

T:
I think there's a part of you--the self and maybe others, who know our relationship is solid, even when you miss sessions. There is another part that feels stuck in the past with worries about the connection when we are not physically present together. I know this and have known it for a long time. Please understand that I care about your feelings associated with connection and separations. Of course we will continue to address this as the most important part of our work together. Relationship is where the work is at.
Coping skills are what I emphasize so that you have ways to manage feelings about the separations. They aren't the only focus of the work.
Please try to keep all of this in perspective.
See you soon
R

I feel some relief now from the anguish i have been feeling the past couple of days. sometimes i just need to know t is there, and that she hears me and cares.