I agree with Beautiful_Pain: I believe that one thing that definitely would help is time. Perhaps you just have defenses that simply aren't convinced so easily I don't think it's bad at all that you have these worries, and hopefully your boyfriend will understand them. And if he does, over time, then it seems to me that that trust would grow naturally. My advice would be to not wish so hard that you were different. You don't want guilt! But don't ignore all of this or follow it too much either. Just be honest with yourself without being judgmental, and be honest with your boyfriend about your worries, and your worries about your worries If he's understanding over time, I believe this will all calm down. It may make appearances from time to time as you grow together in this relationship, so just acknowledge that, and try and be calm and honest with yourself and him when that happens; don't be afraid of it and try to avoid it.

Just my thoughts