i can totally relate to your comments. i used to have pent up rage. today it's better and therapy helped me rid myself of it for the most part. what i've learned is when i feel angry at someone:
1.they are tapping into the thought/trigger-i'm not worthy of their respect.
2. i feel frightened. fear is a primary emotion and anger is a secondary one due to fear.
i tended to have many irrational thoughts. like, "i'm not worthy unless everyone likes me." well now i see how absurd my thought was. nobody can be liked by everyone. another, "if someone doesn't like me or goes out of their way to be inappropriate, it's my fault. they are right and i am wrong and deserve how they are treating me." truth is i can be any person i want to be. i am forging my own destiny. other ppl are not right because they dont even know me. i have learned to love myself first. if i don't, who will? loving oneself is difficult but can be mastered, warts and all. if someone is rude to me all i have to do is think how wrong they are. i can rise above their lack of consideration.i can even speak up for myself like say, "your comments are quite rude." i say nothing more. i do give them direct eye contact when i say it.
when i give the other person the "power" over me it causes depression too. today i choose to try to see a situation without thoughts of inadequacy. just because another person treats me a certain way doesn't mean it's my problem, it's their's.
i even go so far as asking for their superior and filing a complaint.