I'm scared to admit this, but for the past several nights I've been masturbating and fantasizing about having another affair.

I'm stuck in a sexless marriage (husband doesn't want any....no clue why). I've cheated in the past but I really thought it was related to my illness. In fact, we can directly blame the first incidents on a manic episode triggered by antidepressants. But that doesn't excuse it.

I'm stable now. I'm HEAVILY medicated and in therapy.

I don't feel manic. I'm not doing any of the other things I do when I'm manic.

How do I stop this??? I do NOT want to do this to him, or our family, again.