A conversation came to me today, and i have a feeling I'm not the only one. I just wish other people could understand what it feels like..what it feels like to be exhausted...from really nothing physical...it's mental tiredness..and it's impossible to explain. In the attempt to make sense they throw around labels like lazy and words like self pity and tell you to just get over it..to just go out into the "wonderful" outside and everything will be fine...they tell you..that it's your own fault your like this....then bi-polar pipes in and tells you how worthless you are and how you don't deserve to be understood or comforted...or loved...and then there you..hearing it from the "love" of your life..hearing from your life long "friend" bi-polar...and the only things that really make it stop...will kill you.....but your already dead...your already exhausted...

Partner: what did you do today
me: nothing....
Partner: i see that...
Bi-polar: I'm exhausted
Partner: From doing what....?
Bi-polar: from being me
Partner: I worked 10 hours today and i come home and find you laying in bed...what am i supposed to think
Bi-polar: I'm lazy, and i don't care about you because if i did i would have cleaned the house?
Partner:....sigh.....whatever
Bi-polar: just leave and get it over with i hate you
Partner: you know if you would go walk outside you would feel better...there is no sense moaning around the house all depressed
me: I'm tired...
Partner:.....*slamming dishes around* and I'm not? I have to work all day and come home and the house is a mess...and now i have to do the housework while you cry in bed all day and feel sorry for yourself?
Bi-polar: thanks for understanding......asshole
me: I'm sorry.....I'm tired