I have the same anxiety when my T goes away. I have to work really hard not to build up thoughts of everything that could happen to cause death or keep him from coming back. He will tell me weeks in advance if possible so we can work through some of the feelings. I feel so foolish sometimes because i think of so many other things that we could spend the time on but the anxiety can become crippling do to some huge abandonment issues.I always start out trying to tell myself it is no big deal, everyone needs a vacation, then I end up in a puddle of tears. I so wish I wasn't like this, but know that you are not alone.