I agree with Erica - read and learn. There is also a wonderful practice called mindfulness. This has been helping me be aware of what I am doing. You can find lots of information on Youtube and other places (many great practitioners, but a good one to start with is John Kabat-Zinn) Mindfulness meditation has taught me to be in the here and now "non-judgmentally". I notice what I am doing but not beating myself up over it (or that is what the plan is anyway). There are also many great books out there on Mindfulness, some written just for BPD. I started learning about all this recently while I was hospitalized - diagnosed with bipolar disorder and BPD. I wish you well!