Hi, onmyway, welcome to Psych Central!
Quote:
Originally Posted by onmyway
What i seem to be struggling with a lot lately is that people call me manipulative, selfish, constantly point out that in a particular situation what/how i see it is not how it was meant, or accusing me of verbally attacking them ... i realize these are BPD traits. What i struggle with is the fact that I DONT SEE IT!!! This really, truly bothers me....
I also *try* to take responsibility for my own actions, but i've heard a lot lately that i often don't do that either.
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That's a tough row to hoe.
(Convoluted sentence coming up, brace yourself! 
) The distinction that I think will help you most in making sense of your situation, is the one between what your perceptions and intentions
are at any point, and what others
tell you they must have been. The question I often find most useful is, "How do I (or they) know that?"
I don't know you nor the people who have been labeling you, but I'd be very surprised if it turned out that they always knew you (and what was good for you) better than you know yourself. I've been around people who were into scapegoating me; by far the best thing I can say about the experience was that it felt so good to get away.
I like Evil Schnoodle's recommendation of mindfulness. We don't know yet that you actually have BPD but no matter -- it turns out that one of the most effective treatments for it is mindfulness-based: DBT, Dialectical Behavior Therapy. A little more about it (and its relatives)
here.