I woke up today thinking "what have I DONE?". I think maybe because I have a lot of unexpected free time this weekend, and stepping out of the busy-ness of my life makes me feel the absence of any upcoming T appointments a little more strongly.

I came downstairs and got on the computer and found a PM from a PC member who took a break and had it work out really well and that helped a lot...it was such a surprise and a gift And I KNOW that this feeling will pass. I just have to sit with it and let it be there. I know I am okay.

My boys asked me to spin the spinner so they can play Twister and they are soooo funny. I'm trying to let their laughter (and mine) keep me here, now.

I know I can call T and go back Monday. And I know how I felt in therapy lately, and that this is something that I need to do right now. I KNOW it's time for me to be on my own a little bit, to see what comes up and to learn and to find out where I'm at and what I still need help with.

At my session, T talked about the boundaries being hard. I know I enjoy his company and he enjoys my company and we will miss seeing each other. I wouldn't trade the boundaries, because they are so safe and healing...AND right now, they suck.

So. That's this morning.