many of us used/drank to escape emotions we felt that were so overwhelming to us. for me, i needed professional help. i needed to feel safe so i could vent all the feelings (depression, shame, blaming myself for everything even tho i hadn't done wrong-others had) i kept hidden from others. i wanted them to think i was normal.
we do have choices darla even when we feel so downtrodden. we have a destructive disease that makes us feel even more "less than." there is a solution. fight for your life. you deserve better than you now feel. we are here for you and we care. hope you will keep posting. we can brainstorm together. you are not alone in all this. we are here.