Hello all. Today is one i would call 'mild' emotion-wise; i am neither overly anxious or depressed or angry.. but i have this emptiness. A tiny bit of anxiety, but nothing out of control, and i think it has more to do with tomorrow than anything else. I am feeling horribly unmotivated, though, want to curl up and sleep the day away, which is something i cannot do because i need to get things done for tomorrow (my kids are coming and we're having a bday party for the 2 oldest).

I see two problems coming: one is that i told my x he could stay here until the end of the month. HE already has a place to go to, which he's spent several days there but came back a few days ago. And all he does is lay around the stupid couch and sleep and watch movies and that's about it. It DRAINS me. Right now he's curled up in fetal position on the couch and i feel like kicking him. I want to ask him to leave, as i know this is a trigger for me and as the day goes on i will only feel angrier and angrier watching him laze around. (not to mention, it doesn't help MY motivation!) But he says he's 'not feeling well' so i feel bad about asking him to go elsewhere.. ugh.

Two, this 'emptiness' tends to turn to anger for me anyway. I already feel it coming. And the anger leads to .. bad things. I do not hurt others, but myself? yes. And once i get THAT far gone, it takes days to come out of.

I know i'm rambling.. i'm looking for advice i guess on how to get out of this milder version BEFORE it becomes extreme. I have been taught so many coping skills but right now they seem like a whole lot more effort to perform than i have in me. Ideas? Baby steps where to start? HELP!