That's one way of looking at it. Another is that the help just isn't working yet, or you're on your way on a journey to get better.

Someone once told me getting depressed to this level (si/having these types of horrible thoughts especially) is like getting into a bad car accident. Your body had trauma essentially! If you were in a car accident, and broke a bunch of bones and stuff like that, you wouldn't be expected to get up and walk the next day. I think it's the same with depression and everything that comes with it. The recovery process can take a long time - what seems like AGES. But that doesn't mean you're not on your way, or that you're a failure, or useless.

For what it's worth, if we compare our feelings in comparison to timing:

For me, when I was sent to get another T I was also feeling horrible having horrible thoughts, etc. It took a long time for this to stop, and during that time I felt very much the way you are now - useless, a waste of space, like other people were doing all these things for me and all I did was get or feel worse/not better. I'm not saying I'm 100% now, I still have trouble here and there, but once again I'm doing well in school, people are proud of me, and best of all.... I'm HAPPY on a regular basis (not always, but often enough - I'm still recovering of course xD).

Have faith that you can get there too (((((Carrie-19)))))