Slap me ...but,

If two adults agree with whatever they are doing within their bond...it's one thing.

Of course it doesn't help my views that my entire marriage husband turns his head to every women....looks at everything which is remotely seductive like roger rabbit.

Maybe if my marriage didn't contain all of the other context existing atm I may not be disheartened?I dunno.

He just makes me feel as if I'm not enough but,of course he proved that to me in a thousand flavors.Which is why I am now moving on. Because he makes how I feel seem inconsequential.

In a relationship...where the words..."I care deeply for you" or "I love you" are being spoken....it matters...how you impact your mate.When you love a man...or a woman...you consider their entrusted beating heart.

Of course he and I are two completely separate creatures.I'd have loved him with no limbs...no job...nothing but his heart.I apparently don't carry the same value.I have to be 120lbs....and as perfect as possible.So I barely eat.

But,whatever...I am over it.I keep trying to conjure the love...it is vanished.

Sorry to put my stuff here...but,it just bugged me.I don't even think it'd annoy me that he checks out girls if I knew I was of value to him.Hell I think girls are hot too,but prior to mid-last year...after being married since 1989...it never even crossed my mind to think outside my vows.

He on the other hand had an emotional affair with my pastors daughter in 2000....and from that point...has become a monster in a million ways while I tried to be the glue holding us together.

I had never been insecure before 2000,he taught me to be insecure...with him........and yeah...a guy shouldn't have to hold himself back from doing whatever he wants....as far as "finding someone who agrees with you on these morals"...I thought I did for 11 years.

Once I had a brain injury...he went to town doing what he wanted ...when ever the notion struck him,because he knew he could.Did what he wanted to me...and with the rest of his life,and to my kids.

So yeh...

after 22 years.....I WILL go find a guy with the same morals and values as me,I am worth it,I will make a fine life-mate to a man with honor....and frankly...I hope he finds someone with the same morals and values as his.

What goes around,comes around.
~De nihilo nihil....or Nothing comes from nothing.

My $00.02