I'm lucky-my therapist is also "disabled." She had a crippling injury of some sort, has also been through the wringer in terms of pain, and so forth-and although not a pain psychologist, per se, really gets how it is. I vent, rant, and get pi**ed off, but she's been awesome at helping me figure out ways to let go of it--it being the anger and resentment.

Now, about that rather large chip that resides on my shoulder when it comes to many of the doctors? If there was something that could be done? Hmmm, not sure about that. Having been told that I am crazy, I have "munchausen syndrome" (that made my current psychiatrist laugh his butt off for about five straight minutes before he straightened up and goes, "well at least we know that's an inaccurate diagnosis"), that I am malingering, and of course, my own (and that of many others) fave, that I am drug-seeking. Oh, I forgot: looking for attention.

Now, I am being sarcastic-very. That's just my sense of humor, so please understand it's just my "coping mechanism." But yeah, even with my new therapist, I can always feel that now I have a huge wall up, and my "defenses" are on "high alert." I am anxious before an appointment, especially new consults. And honestly, with a few exceptions, I found it's pretty well-founded.

Medicine is not what it used to be: it's no longer a caring profession. Most people don't know this, but at least in the US, doctors no longer even take the Hippocratic Oath upon graduation from medical school! I am being as honest as possible-this is totally true to the best of my knowledge; perhaps it's part of the problem; but really, given that in the last 15 years or so, the care and compassion has almost disappeared completely.

We all have to be our own advocates, because like it or not, no one is gonna do it for you. Here's a few tips:

-Ask what they bill for in cash. Hang up, call back the next day, and ask what they bill the insurance for. Note the difference, if any.
-Are you required to "secure" the appointment with a Visa/Mastercard?
-Do you make your copays in cash only (many free-standing, private pain clinics do this), and yet they refuse flatly to bill the very Visa or MC you secured your appointment with? If this is the case, limp like heck-get seen, because otherwise, the appointment is billed to your card, not your insurance. But do not go back-ever. This is a very, very bad sign and should be a HUGE warning sign!!!
-What is their cancellation policy? 24 hours is pretty standard, but when it approaches 72 hours, you can pretty much assume they're looking for a way to get some cash out of the deal.
-Check with your insurance company and ask about the number of grievances filed. If you're with BC/BS, they have a website (see the back of your card), and you can check member ratings. Find out what other members of your insurance company think: this can be highly revealing.
-You have the perfect right to check their medical license. This can be done simply, and for free. Do a Google/Bing search for "Medical licensing Board, (your state)" and something will come up that will lead you to where you need to go. Enter the doctor's name and city/state, and it will tell you if they've ever been disciplined, investigated, and sometimes (not always, depends on the state), how many complaints on their license, and if it's ever been suspended.
-Check with the DEA and see if they've been in trouble there. Just do a search for the DEA webpage and follow the yellow brick road.

Professional accreditations are their bread and butter in some cases:
1. Some specialties require accreditation through specific Associations: for example a neurologist or psychiatrist has to be board-certified through the American Academy of Psychiatry and Neurology. They lose this, they are sunk. As in: doors closed. Pain docs are usually required to be board certified by the American Association for Anesthesiology (I believe I got it...I have a list of websites, but I'd have to check...my file folder with this list is called "Dirt on Doctors") or some Pain management association: but either way, this requirement is dependent also on most hospitals giving them their operating rooms, and ability to admit a patient, or do any kind of procedure, and these days, if they can't even get a hospital affiliation, doors closed.

Now, one complaint may not close their doors-it likely won't. But if enough pile up on any of the professional organizations, the medical licensure, with the insurance companies (ESPECIALLY: Blue Cross/Blue Sheild, Medicare, and yes, believe it or not, even Medicaid), all of whom accept complaints against doctors, they will be disciplined. That results in difficulties obtaining privelages at hospitals, and more complaints results in more investigations, etc, etc. It can get very hairy.

And yeah, as a former RN, I have heard horror stories. And ones where they overmedicate people (literally) into the next life, while others are grossly undertreated. It's a royal mess, thanks in large part to the fact that way back in the 1920's, when the DEA first started inviting themselves into the exam room, the AMA couldn't grow a spine, and tell them to fly a kite. Ten years prior to this, the same thing happened in England, and the British Medical Association politely-to my knowledge-told the English government to jump off a cliff. Now, as most people in England are more polite than their American counterparts, I doubt those were the words used, but I think you catch my drift.

But to anyone: if you have to, use your last bit of strength, whatever--if it's anger giving you the energy, then channel it into the productiveness of writing letters to where it's going to hurt them the most.

The Cash Register!

Or hire an attorney if it's outright malpractice. But for the legal process, it will be a period of years, your life will suddenly be everyone's business, as will your medical, psychiatirc, and social history.

But keep the chin up, and if you don't have it in you to have faith in our capitalistic legal system, I don't blame you...but there's other ways to chip away at the problem.

The problem is it takes time, energy, and resroucefulness. And it's pathetic that it's where things are now.

Sometimes, I wish I could move to another country: England, Canada even, New Zealand, anywhere else. No system is perfect, and any idiot who says ours is the best in the world--is probably a doctor driving a Porsche.

Oh, gotta dust off that chip residing on my shoulder-sorry.

Group hug anyone?