Lots of things have happened over the past month, but basically it boils down to my boss being very concerned about my safety, and meeting with me and my therapists. Let me tell you, I'm not so sure i've EVER been so nervous about talking to people ever. Your boss AND your therapists, all talking about YOU? Blech.

There was a lot that was talked about. My boss spent about 10 minutes detailing all the things that have not gone right in the past year or so, ending to the two write-ups I got in a week. (I've worked for this company for 6.5 years, and have never been written up) My therapists talked about how I've been delving into "old stuff" over the past month, and it seems to parallel the decline at work, but that we are working on me having better coping skills.

Most of it was ok...until the end. My boss told them how, a few weekends ago, I texted her that I was driving around crying. UGH. Of course, I didn't tell my T's this...its embarassing, and I immediately regretted it. My EMDR-T said that in the future, she can say something to me like "Maybe this is better to bring to your session" and working on "boundaries." My regular T said that I act child-like to elicit sympathy, and I don't have to do that.

I feel HORRIBLE. I have been so upset since the meeting. Acting child-like to me means that I am needy, dependent, and well, childish! I HATE being needy or dependent. On anyone. I admit there is something that draws me to my boss. If I am forced to admit it, there is a part of me that wants her to rescue me in some way.

But now I am soooo scared I am going to go into next week's session and be in trouble. For acting like a child, for texting my boss when I shouldn't have, for not doing what I should be doing to make myself better.

What is everyone's thoughts on someone telling you that you act "child-like?"