I'm sorry I don't have much to say, LittleForgetMeNot. However, I pretty much feel the same way about not having real friends and needing them. I also think I have social anxiety: when I was a kid I couldn't even go to the neighborhood grocery store and nowadays I still have trouble phoning people I don't know well. A few months ago I decided to cut ties with my high school friends (they weren't there for me and made me feel guilty every time I had to vent or stuff like that) and it was weird and totally out of my confort zone but I feel it was for the best. I'm lonely and lately I've had some self-steem issues, and at this time I wanna be a good friend to myself first and foremost. I wanna love myself again. Sorry, I know this doesn't help much. Just wanted to let you know I understand how you feel. You're in my thoughts.