((((((((((deli)))))))))))))

It helps me to write things down and send them to T.

Surprisingly, though, I've found that writing DOES serve as a kind of "container" for me, even when I don't sent it. I think because having things down in black and white gives them a "beginning" and an "end". It's not all floating around in my head, circling around and around and around and around on itself. I didn't think it would help, but it did.

I think that what helps about sending it to T is that it's DIFFERENT from what happened in the past. I am very used to being alone with the things that happened to me..but not to having someone else be a witness. There is something healing about being able to say "this happened, this happened, this happened" and to have someone ELSE hear it and keep me from being alone with it anymore.

Did you ask Austin-T if you could e-mail it to him?