I am glad my post served you well. I know what you mean Sun.... while I enjoy the quiet around me in the wee hours of the morning, waking up in those hours is not at all pleasant. It is stressful and upsetting. The quiet is the last thing on my mind while toss and turning and getting more and more anxious of how the sleeplessness is going to spoil my day. Of course then I am faced with negative thinking owning me and making sleep that much more difficult or even impossible.

I didn't manage to make it into the sewing room. My back was killing me. I should have known 4 hours straight in the garden was too much this early in the season. As it was I forced myself to stop thinking I would pay the price if I did anymore. Good think I guess or I would still be flat in bed this morning. It feels better this morning so hopeful I can put in a good session today. The dress is the priority but if my ex gets back before I at least get started on his shirt he is going to rag on me.

I need to quit giving him so much power over me but I can't seem to get there. He is talking about moving back here and being our roommate. The thought just triggers anxiety but I can't speak to it. I am such an accommodator. I always hold the needs of others above my own and more then anyone I do it with him. Just like I gave up my pdoc appointment to pick him up from the airport and just like driving at the worst time of day when the high anxiety of heavy traffic to pick him up on time. I just pray he will change his plans before the fall when he intends to move. I am such a wimp around him. It is so not my character to be this wimpy.

I was asleep by 11, thanks to the extra tylenals and awake by 5 but managed to nod off again until 7. For years I have never been to bed before midnight as often as I have the last couple of weeks. It feels so much better to be able to wake on my own before 8am or to actually sleep more then 3 to 5 hours a night. It is making a world of difference I think to my moods though still no effect on the level of anxiety I walk around with all day. Perhaps that is yet to come. Here is hoping.

I gotta ask sun.... its the former workaholic always on alert.... how many hours do you spend working a day? It seems like you put in a lot of hours at work.

It hope the meditation before bed was helpful in settling both the restlessness and mood. Wishing you a day touched by healing sunlight.

Blessings Sun.