Thank you for being here. I could not wait to get a chance to log on here today to see if anyone was out there....the isolation of this, even though I'm in the midst of tons of people is unbelievable.

Rhapsody, you asked of my "original wound"... the synopsis is ongoing sexual and physical abuse/terror by one family member, emotional abandonment by my father (he struggled with depression) and there is no way to summarize my Mother lol. I had a very scary and lonely childhood -even though from the outside it appeared that I grew up in Leave It To Beaver-land.

I have been in therapy forever it seems. Does the Klonopin act as quickly and effectively as the Xanax? I am hoping once the prozac levels get up to where they need to be I won't need it so much... Today I was 109. I have not weighed that since I was about 13... I am 34. I am frightened by the continual loss -and it is beyond no appetite... it is more a diversion to food now..
I am able to get up and go to work... I cannot focus to accomplish too much.. I take care of my kids.. 14 year old son and a 5 month old baby girl... I havent been able to cook a meal -do housework -clean my car.. .so I am functioning really at a minimal level at this point. I feel paralyzed by this.
I need to know that there is light..there is recovery... is there any hope or is this the way the rest of my life is going to be...just getting by in a state of fear and sickness. One of my employees today said my skin is jaundice... I feel like I am dying.