Warrioress-
My heart goes out to you. Please get emergency help. Get to a hospital emergeny room, call a suicide hotline (1-800-273-8255), call the police and ask to be brought to a hospital. I am so glad you are asking for help. I was there 3 weeks ago, and had a suicide attempt. I thank God every day that I survived.....and now I am making slow, but long-lasting changes in myself to help me enjoy and accept life. I changed my pdoc...started going to support meetings. At the time though, I believed I was hopeless, that nothing could every change, and I just wanted all of my suffering to end. Now I can accept that life does have pain in it, and that I can have a joyful, worthwhile life even when it does have pain. I'm so glad you are reaching out...now seek safety.....please........