Kim, I want to post on this more when I have time, but that probably won't be until Monday. I've been thinking about exactly what you asked for quite some time now.

notthemama8, that's the answer that first goes through my mind, but it's a dismissal answer. It doesn't answer why do these people (as you said, kim, it's adults, too) have no conscious or guilt about being so cold and mean? I mean, while I'm not saying this makes it ok, I could understand a little bit if they were responding to a person who'd done something specific to anger them. Mature persons strive to overcome the impulse to say something mean about someone which the person can't help or struggles with when that person angers them, and respond only to the thing that made them angry, but I "get" the urge to say something mean when someone angers you. But what I don't get is what makes a person, for no reason, yell something mean to, make fun of, physically tease/trip/harm, laugh at, mock, belittle, or intentionally hurt the feelings of someone who has done nothing to them. I understand it's supposed to be a way of making a person feel "big," better than another, etc., but they don't usually do it when around more mature adults and friends (although they will often try to do it "in secret," or behind parents' back with their friends). I know the standard psych answer is that they have low self-esteem, and that may be true of some, but it is not true of all. I have no doubt that some of these people truly believe they are better than others, and have way-too-high self-esteem.

I've seen parents on talk shows justify their children's teasing, or say they don't see/hear it, so they feel no responsibility to correct it. I would never stand for my child to be so rude.