Some of this fits me very well, but other parts, not so much. Unless, of course, I am in denial. One can't be sure, can one?

I do like the fact that it points out the difference between selfless love & manipulative self-serving love. I get bogged down in this often. There is someone I love, sometimes selflessly, BUT when I give that love, it makes me feel good, so then I wonder if it is really selfless and not self-serving.
Anyway, that's a rabbit trail.

The rage of abandonment is a real thing. The pushing away others I definitely identify with. I am not angry that I am alone though. I am sad that I don't belong, but I like being alone. I am coming to accept that I do not and never will belong. It is late in life, I admit.

During my self imposed alone time I am learning to rely more on myself to take care of my needs. I feel less victimized by those who I think "should" be taking care of me, because there is no one in that role now.

I do not always do a good job taking care of me. That being said, I am doing a better job than most of those who I depended on to do so. In addition, there is much less stress in my life now. I am no longer constantly disappointed because that other person failed me.

I do not spend my time waiting for them to notice me, to want me, to approve of me, to love me. I do not grieve over every mistake that might have cost me their approval. There is no one here to blame for my anger, no one to lash out at, no one to villianize. It's just me.

That is helping me to own more of my thoughts, feelings & behavior. It isn't always comfortable, but I think it is growth.

I know it is quieter than having someone else here with me. I like the quiet. Sometimes I can almost hear myself.

Thanks for sharing the article.