I know hallucinations often freak people out - like me and my absolute fear of psychosis and hospitals - but I've seen a sunny side to some weird experiences lately.
Just prior to my current depressive episode, I saw some strange things:
I was driving at night, and a car's headlights shone on the tall grass next to my car. I looked around, and there was no other car - just me. My own lights on the grass? Maybe. The next day I drove past the spot - there was no grass, only low flowers. It didn't freak me out, but it had me puzzled.
A day or so later I was driving around a corner just after sunrise, and saw a tree covered in the most exquisite glowing pink blossoms. I glanced at the road and back up at the tree, but there were no blossoms - only the dark green leaves of late summer (Southern hemisphere). It was a moment of intense beauty that vanished in a blink.
Another evening, as I was walking through a doorway, I was fascinated by an enormous moth the size of a dove, resting in the doorway. I stopped, walked backwards to where I had seen it, but it was gone. I looked around both rooms, but found no sign of it. My wife, who had been talking to me as I saw it, was very frightened by my behaviour, and she was certain there had been no huge moth.
These experiences happened while I was hypomanic, on my way down from more acute mania.
The next hallucination I had was auditory, of someone with a scratchy metallic voice shouting in my left ear all sorts of demeaning things which I'll not repeat here. That was when I was already into agitated depression and considering suicide. Thankfully I have lifted out to just mild depression now.
I'd really like to hear what other people have experienced, and at what stage in their mood cycles they experience these things.
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Life is like a storm with millions of eyes. So deceptive.
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