It's perfectly normal to dislike even hate a parent...and we feel quilty because they ARE our parent. I have read that the mother is always the one we bond most with an as infant ..needs are met or unmet by her but she is mom...Some mom's can be...cruel at best..not that yours is...but the point they can hamper us in life. Relationships that are toxic can leave one in a quantary. Sadly some folks are just toxic no matter the relationship