Thanks rapidcycla.
His dad called today and asked "WHAT DID YOU DO TO (I'll call him Tom) TOM? He's so depressed and I think he's been crying." ( his dad blames me for everything).
Well after a long discussion I found out his brother who is 1 yr. older (and very successful in his profession)spoke with Tom and told him he shouldn't go on vacation with us and he's nothing but a "big burden to mom. and by agreeing to drink only if she does, that puts restrictions on mom and that's not fair to her".
Yeah, his brother is pretty much of a jerk to Tom, non supportive to say the least. Vacations are always a big source of stress to me. Tom will drink almost 24/7 with my brother-in-law who is a functioning alcoholic. Tom's uncle does'nt like to drink alone, so Tom's has always drank right along with him, I simply don't have any control in this situation. BUT, I Had it worked out with Tom for THIS years vacation.
What a mess, I could just ring my older son's neck. Tom's not answereing his phone at all This just made everything worse.