Thank you omers and yoda.

Couples counseling seems like an option. He told me today that he would go for counseling and that we can do couple counseling when I am ready. I think i will try that.

It would embarress him and his family alot to postpon the wedding but like you said, it is probably better to be safe than sorry. I still love him but I have the fear that the same kind of event or something worse will happend several years down the road when everything becomes too stable and routine again.

Yoda, when you said you needed more time before you married your ex. Was it because you were not ready for it or because you couldnt fully trust him yet?

Is online chating a normal thing like chatting on msn? He deleted his accounts and all the emails yesterday (he said "because its the right thing to do" "so he would quit") so I couldnt even judget the contents myself. I am not even sure if this is a emontional affair becoz he said its random.....

thank you everyone for the support