I know the feeling Kimmydawn. Years ago I had so much anger and so on just a boiling aabout it all until a friend asked me if I was ready to make the abuse count for something good and told me about the states task force on rape and sexual assault. From that day on I was on the lookout for ways to make what happened to me count.

The ways I found to make the past count for good instead of the bad it was--

When my past therapist and I were done with a 2 and a half by 2 feet cardboard house (the house that I grew up in) we gave it to one of her clients a little girl who wanted it to play with her barbies. For however long that house lasted it gave her joy.

Testified in a state task force on rape and sexual assault. my statements about the abuse went into forming new laws for proposal in legistature and went on to become new laws with other survivors testimonies.

Volunteered at various crisis centers and hot lines.

Helped to facilitate a support group with other survivors.

Started a support group in my area for women survivors of sexual abuse

Wrote two books for publishing so that other survivors will see they are not alone and can survive.

opened my home from time to time for survivors in need of an emergency place to stay while getting hooked up with community agencies.

Hang in there. It does get better.