Hi there!

What you experience sounds a lot like grief.......

Grief for the time you feel you have lost, grief for the fact that your mother is getting older and grief for the toll that depression takes on the soul......

What I sound totally nuts if I said that grief is normal in light of what you are dealing with? Grief is the signal that our body gives us to look within for the answers....and cry if we need to, hide if we need to.......and develop a great love for self.......

It sounds counterintuitive, but do not fight it no matter how bad it feels, embrace it and know that it is your spirit asking for you to........forgive and unconditionally accept. Much more difficult than it sounds, but it can be done.

Take good care, try and enjoy the "moment" and be a bit kinder to self......you are loved.

Michah