Hello, Kjb1985.
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...i feel like im 50-60yrs old, i feel weak and run down.
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Given your long history of depression and what you have faced and continue to face, you're more than justified to feel that way.
Meds you've got. What about social services -- or would they threaten your custody?
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My dog
mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.