Thanks for the suggestions guys, ive been thinking hard on my emotions and where they lead me, and i realize that im jealous of my new friend paying attention to other people, not really because i want to go out with her or 'be more than friends', but because i threw myself into this friendship. In my defense, she was the first friend real friend ive made in years, so i wanted to orient my life around hanging out. It made me feel normal again, but shes not doing the same thing. Shes got a whole other life that has nothing to do with me and i felt like we werent at the same level. I also dont have the confidence in myself to just be happy with me. I feel like i have to have my friends full attention on me or i cant be happy or ive failed as a person. Ive realized that i just need to back up and chill down, realize that i can make more friends around the office and that i can gain the confidence in myself to just be happy being me. Whatever that may be. Thanks again for the comments, the fact that people i dont even know are willing to help me is a huge confidence booster already.