Hey, Martina!

Great subject. Probably a subject that the great majority of members here on PC can relate to. I certainly can. I discover every day different ways in which I've self-sabotaged my life, and that's a pretty long period of time. I do have a T, and I do share with her all my realizations about self-sabotage. The only thing that I've found really works to stop (or minimize) the self-sabotage is becoming conscious of it, to know what I'm doing at all times, and to relate this kind of behavior to my early childhood. As I've found (for me, not necessarily for you), most of my self-sabotage has to do with things that went wrong when I was a little child. And because of those things I thought I was a bad person and had to punish myself. And all those self-sabotaging incidents relate back to that: I'm punishing myself for being a bad child when I was one or two. And of course, I wasn't a bad child, I just blamed myself for my mother's lack of attention to me. So, that kind of understanding makes it easier and easier from month to month to not do the kind of self-sabotage you describe. My idea is that self-sabotage is really self-punishment. When you realize that you were not then and are not now a bad person, it's easier to stop doing it. Take care!