Wow its all really messy isnt it.

I feel you need some 'you' time and you wont get it in the situation you are in so need to solve that before you make any decisions about your relationship.

Could you take a few days break from everything telling her you need time to think things through as your thinking is a bit muddled at the moment and you are not sure what way you actually want to go regarding EVERYTHING including your relationship.

You should be able to feel safe in your own home.