I think you're at a similar stage I was at with my own mother before she passed. If she passed when she had the 1st stroke, it would have devastated me. She survived 7 yrs and was wheel chair bound...life wasn't easy for her. She was ill and ready to go - she was a great mother and we bonded even closer during her last week. As hard as it is, it's actually a gift to be there during a loved ones last days. I mourned the loss of my mother when she became disabled. By that time, I was prepared for it being her time.