You seem to describe me in some ways. . . .
I suffer from almost exactly the same problems as you. . . .
Dissociative identity disorder may be a part of it too. . . .
Although im not at all really sure. . . .
I do things and say things which i sometimes forget. . . .
And when someone reminds me of it im stunned. . . .
Also it feels i've run out of emotions and shed tears only when i beg for all of my crisis to end. . . .

I totally understand what you must be going through. . . .
But cutting is a sort of a temporary relief that will get u nowhere. . . .
I'm so happy to hear u r in therapy. . . .
And i'm sure pretty soon you will stop cutting permanently. . . .
Whenever you feel such an urge is arising you can write posts here or enter chat which you will be allowed to enter after you write five posts minimum. . . .
Also why don't u do things that u love to do for example read books or listen to your favorite songs. . . . or a walk in the park . . . .
Wishing you good health and pray may things get better for you. . . .
Hugs if you need. . . .