You on't have to say anything to try and make me feel better, I'm just so angry and depressed about it. At least I think I'm depressed about it. God I don't even know anymore. I keep clinging to SOMETHING, I thought maybe deep inside I wanted something with him, but I think that maybe I don't want that with HIM, I just have to acknowledge to myself that deep inside, I have always wanted a father, a real one that cared about me and would never call me names or put me down, or hurt me, both physically or emotionally, and I am never going to have that. I envy people with great fathers. The things he said to me yesterday, that was supposed to be my FATHER. I got so mad, I told him the world will be a better place when he's gone and he can go to hell. And I really meant it. He doesn't speak to me like I'm his daughter, he treats me like the scum of the earth. He accused me of things I've never done, told me I'll never survive in life. I had to delete all the messages he sent to me on my phone, I can't look at them.