You need to seek shelter elsewhere. Contact local abuse agencies, community agencies, friends, family, churches, wherever you need to go to get help. Not only is you present arrangement damaging to you, but it is damaging to your children. If he really loves you, he will understand the need for you to be safe while you BOTH get counseling and help. If he doesn't agree to this plan, then you know the answer to how much he really loves you. If he's okay with the new arrangement, there's hope.