I think you had reasons to stop talking to her at the time. Maybe that's become hard to see with time.

I think this time you set an appropriate boundary, if you're both seeing/kind of seeing other people. That's not pushing someone away in a bad way, like protecting yourself from knowing someone. It's setting limits on the type of relationship you will have with them. Sounds healthy to me.

If you sabotaged your current kinda-relationship for the ghost of an old one, that's the type of behavior that can keep you from being intimate over time. But you know your own motives best. Do you feel like you were pushing her away so she wouldn't know you?

You might also try the relationship forum for this type of question.