Oh bp...it's so hard to deal with it just by yourself! I understand the confusion alot better now.
Then I guess going to the hospital, there they can evaluate...the thing is that in some places they tend to "protect" themselves by admitting you, just in case you know...
Why are you not in T/pdoc? Is it a money issue? Don't like being in treatment? Bad experiences?

By the way are you on meds?