I'm grateful to both of you, above, for encouragement. The amount of dithering I've been doing the past two years has me in a really worrisome place now. At some level, I sense I've been putting off the inevitable because I feel so guilty and not entitled to ask for SSDI.

You are both generous to have read my long post above. I get astonished at the time members of this website are willing to take to hear someone's problem and give well-considered advice.